tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4048186698864359724.post134958934802958304..comments2024-01-09T02:22:47.782-08:00Comments on Sometimes I'm Actually Coherent: The Only Thing We Have To Fear...Timothy Powerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06081922327870257027noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4048186698864359724.post-37241881210471104892007-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:002007-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00PS - I almost forgot the most important thing...KE...PS - I almost forgot the most important thing...KEEP IT SIMPLE when trying to help during little Fairy's fearful times, and try to avoid over-analyzing things. Kids don't need a lot of words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4048186698864359724.post-68186622219819300972007-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:002007-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:00Ah Tim...your story about young brother and toilet...Ah Tim...your story about young brother and toilets really rang a terrifying bell! I was morbidly afraid of the INSIDES...those mysterious WORKING parts of the inside of a toilet TANK! Once when the toilet sort of went bonkers (kept running? overflowed?), I remember running out of the bathroom screaming my head off! I hate to say that it was probably well into teenage/young adult years when I actually had the nerve to remove the tank lid and peer inside. <BR/>I also have vivid memories of Frankinstein-esque nightmares, and "seeing" dark-robed beings with tall spears or sticks coming down the back alley toward our house. I probably was reading too many scarey (scary?) comic books! Or heard too many wonderfully vivid radio fairy tales from "Let's Pretend". (ask your mom and dad about those!) Halloween time could produce an extraordinary amount of these radio tales. So...what your little one is experiencing is NORMAL, especially since she also has been blessed with a vivid imagination. And Tonya's and your responses are pretty much "right-on". <BR/><BR/>The longer you are a father, the more you will see that trying to predict or even anticipate those childhood fears is futile...instead you just go with the flow, and try to be imaginative in explaining and reassuring. I didn't have that luxury...I didn't have that sort of "attentiveness", so I kept all those fears locked up. But, eventually children will face those fears and as a result, courage is acquired. I think that's why I love the film, "Monsters Inc." We can't shield our kids from the external influences that can spark fear - I grew up in a relatively benign period of time...no TV, none of the "street reality" kids see today...but to this day, I have a morbid fear of earthquakes! At the age of 7 or so, being without any knowledge of what they were, I was rudely awakened at 5am, and seeing my father trying to navigate down the hall to get me and my brother as the house shook and heaved a good 6-8 feet back and forth - I thought it was the end of the world! For a good month, I couldn't eat hardly anything...I lost weight. Sometimes, we take our fears into adulthood. <BR/>Those were also the times when I thought that if the world ended and I had done ONE bad thing that day, I was forever doomed to hell! Yes, even Bible stories and innocent prayers ("...if I should die before I wake...") can instill horrendous fears in a child. Praise God that His grace and love are openly, and gently, taught today to our children! (I also had a morbid fear of water due to the fact that my father's "profound religious attitudes" prevented me from learning how to swim since he forbade me from going swimming if boys were there! I didn't learn to swim until I was a teenager!)<BR/><BR/>So...don't worry if it takes a while to get to the root of your kids' fears...your presence and demeanor will help them face all the boogymen in their lives...and they WILL pop up from time to time, and soon enough they will learn to trust themselves to overcome all of them! But those fears are real...you just have to validate them and tell the kids that they're normal things that happen as kids grow up, and that YOU are there for them to learn courage. <BR/><BR/>Oh yes, I also remember being around 12-13 and being awakened many early mornings with the rattling of windows - "they" were exploding atomic bombs in Nevada! But my first initial reactions were the fears I had of earthquakes. I soon got used to it, but certainly not the potential WWIII fears. We were in the middle of the "Cold War"! I certainly recall as an adult when I nearly dissolved into hysteria during the Cuban Missle Crisis!! <BR/><BR/>Kids...and adults...all have fears, especially about the "unknown" and things they have no control over...like a flushing toilet! <BR/><BR/>Wow...this is like my own blog!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com