Here's A Problem They Never Expected To Have....

Ok, for lack of a better thing to blog about, here's a little item from Wired News, which is simultaneously a testament to the power of unintended consequences and a sign that we mere humans will always be able to find things to complain about.

It appears that the new Airbus super-jumbo jet, the A380, is a quiet plane.

Too quiet...

Here's the problem. You're stuck on transcontinental flight for a dozen hours or so, so you're trying to get some sleep. Now, ordinarily you would think that the super-high-bypass engines on that plane would be a good thing, since they're quieter than older engines. And with the sheer size of the plane, those engines are actually spaced fairly far from the cabin, so most of the noise dissipates into the surrounding air anyway. Great!

Except there's a heretofore-unappreciated benefit to having loud engines--they drown out the sound of the lavatory flushing. And they drown out the sound of the baby crying three rows back. And they drown out the conversations of those two mall-rats sitting on the other side of the fuselage.

And they drown out the sound of your conversation, so you can't be overheard by nosy neighbors.

With all those wonderful sound reductions the Airbus people have put in their planes, now everyone is aware of a whole bunch of stuff that they'd rather not be aware of!

This is especially a problem for people who are trying to sleep--like off-duty flight crew. On other planes, those big engines produce huge amounts of white noise that drowns out everything else. Less white noise on the A380, and you can hear all that sneezing, coughing, flushing...

And it doesn't help that Emirates Airlines put their pilot sleeping quarters in the back of the plane, where the passengers mistake it for a lavatory and keep knocking to see if the pilots are done in there yet.


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As I said before, this is a testament to unintended consequences, and it's a testament to the fact that we humans (or is it just us Westerners?) can find anything to complain about, even in something as otherwise praiseworthy as a quiet airliner. Somehow the phrase "there's no pleasing some people" comes to mind....

(Warning: some coarse language here, and some very dry British humor)